Many thanks to Laurie for asking me to post a little about safety and BDSM today!
At first glance, safety may seem a bit boring. We want adventure, adrenaline, and fun! Right?
Well, yeah, but if you don’t play safe, you can end up injured, or worse; and that’s not fun, at all. We’re aiming for good hurt, not bad.
I've been in the lifestyle well over 20 years, so it’s easy for me to discern when an activity in a fiction book is safe, or merely there for the fantasy aspects. I’m usually good with both, but there are people who worry about someone new to the scene getting hurt by trying something they read.
I write scenes as realistic as possible, while still holding onto the fantasy. I include some safety details here and there, like the fire extinguisher under the table during the wax play scene, and the quick release clips restraining her so he can get her up and away quickly, if necessary. However, I’m not writing a how-to manual, and I don’t include every safety detail. If you’re going to do something in one of my books, please look it up, do some research, maybe even find a group on Fetlife discussing the activity and ask questions –– please don’t try it without first learning the pros and cons.
Most people with an interest in BDSM are familiar with the term SSC, which means an activity should be Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Heavy players, like the characters in my books, often abandon SSC in favor of RACK –– Risk Aware Consensual Kink. RACK means both parties acknowledge the risk in a particular activity, but have done their research and are comfortable with the level of risk involved. This also gets rid of the whole “sane” argument, which can be so subjective: one person’s idea of crazy might be another’s ordinary kink.
I’ll briefly run down a list of things I frequently see in books and videos, and list the inherent dangers:
