Please welcome Cinearae and her gang from "Diary of a Vampire Stripper"
CHARACTER INTERVIEW WITH AURDA, LUCINDA AND PAUL FROM “DIARY
OF A VAMPIRE STRIPPER” BY CINSEARAE S.
1. Welcome! So, tell us a bit about yourselves!
Audra: Can I skip this
question, please?
Lucinda: (Snorts) She kinda
hates talking about herself, but me, I don’t care. I’m an open book, so ask anything!
Paul: Um, I’m not too good at
this kinda stuff either, but I’ll try.
Interviewer: Wonderful! So…as
for the first question…
Audra: Still skipping. I’ll
answer the next one, promise.
Lucinda: (Sighs and rolls her
eyes.)She’s a vamp. I’m a were. And Paul here is a zombie.
Paul: Will you stop calling me that?!? I’m a ghoul!
Lucinda: (Wrinkles her nose.)
Close enough!
Interviewer: What an
interesting trio you three make!
Lucinda: We get that a lot.
(grins)
Paul: Yep. And I’m her
boyfriend! (Points to Audra)
Interviewer: You…? She…?
(clears her throat.) Is that so?
Audra: We’re trying to get
that fixed. His problem, I mean. He was human before.
Interviewer: Well, I wish you
luck with that, Paul. Really.
Paul: Thanks. I need all the
help I can get right about now! (Scratches his scalp, and a small bit of it
sloughs off. He tries patting it back in place.)
2. So….what’s your story?
Audra: Well, pretty much like
most folks these days, I stumbled into some tough times trying to keep a job.
Out of desperation, I decided to try out as a stripper for a relatively new
club that opened up. I met Lu at the auditions and we became friends, and much
later, I ran into Paul there.
Lucinda: (whispering) She’s
being soooo vague…
Interviewer: Do tell.
Lucinda: (sitting up at
attention) True, we met at the strip joint, but she also met her husband there,
too.
Audra: Luuu….!
Lucinda: (ignoring her) Her
husband’s a bit of a dick. It’s why she became a vamp in the first place.
Paul: And that’s what
fascinated me about her. (grins dreamily, showing his pointed teeth. The
Interviewer cringes.)
Interviewer: I didn’t realize
ghouls had sharp teeth.
Paul: Gotta tear through that
raw flesh somehow, right? It’s one of the things that clearly distinguishes me
from a zombie, Lu.
Lucinda: You and zombies are
the same difference in my book.
Paul: I do not shuffle around
mindlessly with my arms stuck out, going ‘braaains’, do I?”
Lucinda: Well, no, but—
Paul: I rest my case. (Folds
his arms.) We’ve gotta stop having
this argument!
3. Moving on, being what you are, do you guys embrace
conflict or run away from it?
Lucinda: Are you kidding??? Whatever
it is, we gotta face it head-on, or
else it’ll simply get worse if we don’t nip it in the bud. Many humans don’t
believe our kind exist, which is all fine and dandy, but those that do know, well…we’re not well-liked by
them, to say the least! Being hunted by extremists that are out to kill us sucks… and they say WE’RE the freaks!!
Audra: Long story short, there’s
a group of vigilante asshole cops trying to eradicate us. I hate people that
are hell-bent on trying to destroy what they refuse to try and understand.
Paul: Definitely what they
both said.
Interviewer: I’m so sorry to
hear you guys are having it so tough. You guys are really cool.
Lucinda: Aw, thanks!
