If you could shapeshift into any animal,
what would you change into?
I’m going to go with “goose” on this one. I briefly thought
“hummingbird”, because they’re shiny and fast and nectar sounds good, but eh,
I’d rather not get eaten by a frog.
This pretty much exemplifies my deal with shapeshifting, at
least where animals are concerned, because animals’ lives pretty much suck
across the board. Yeah, wolves and great cats are noble and majestic and blah
blah blah, but that lifestyle is pretty much running around in the woods, often
at night, and eating raw deer or rabbits or squirrels. The woods are often
cold, often wet, always full of gross bugs, and very rarely contain cable TV or
bathtubs or sofas; while I’m fond of both venison and rabbit, even tartare, I
like them on a plate, with a sauce of some kind and maybe mushrooms on the
side.
So no. I don’t even go camping.
I guess I could go the domestic animal route, but then I’m
eating canned tunaish substance and getting neutered, so also not so much.
I think the problem is that I need a more dangerous actual
life. If I was fighting crime, becoming a giant furry killing machine on
command could have serious advantages. If I was a secret agent, turning into a
cat or a raven could totally be the way to go. But my life involves a lot of
commuting and sitting in front of computers, and a lot of dancing, drinking, or
board games for social activities—all pretty much things for which my human
form is perfectly evolved.
(If I could shapeshift into whatever human form I wanted, that
would rock. I never got what Mystique was on about in the X Men—everyone’s
natural form is hideous, that’s why God made foundation and Crossfit—and man,
the amount I’d save on hairstyling alone would be great.)
On the other hand, I do like travelling, I don’t like planes at all, and tickets get expensive. Geese can fly a long way and have almost no natural predators, so that seems like a pretty solid choice. Or a swan, which is sort of the same thing, plus everyone knows they can break people’s arms, which is a reputation I wouldn’t mind having.
On the other hand, I do like travelling, I don’t like planes at all, and tickets get expensive. Geese can fly a long way and have almost no natural predators, so that seems like a pretty solid choice. Or a swan, which is sort of the same thing, plus everyone knows they can break people’s arms, which is a reputation I wouldn’t mind having.
Alternatively, as a friend suggests, I could go with “tiger” and then start fighting crime. Or at least scare the hell out of those guys who wear backpacks on full subway cars or similar. That would be pretty cool. (“Are you going to keep manspreading without legs, buddy?”) Ooh, and God help the really loud people in the downstairs apartment, because the cops take forever to arrive and sadly do not actually drag you off to the Bastile, but, like, a bear smashing in your door and destroying your subwoofer? You’re gonna pay more attention to that than to me banging on the floor, I bet.
…see, this is perhaps why I don’t have superpowers. Because
I would totally go from zero to Urban Etiquette Vigilante Girl in thirty
seconds, and for some reason this would be a bad thing.
Aw. Now I want to be Bear Girl, Avenger of the Sleepless.
Come on, Universe! I wouldn’t actually maul any people, I promise.
Probably.
********************
Title: Night of the Highland Dragon
Author: Isabel Cooper
Series: Highland Dragons, #3
Pubdate: June 2nd, 2015
ISBN: 9781402284731
“They say,” said the girl, “that people disappear up there.
And I heard that the lady doesna’ ever grow any older.”
“The lady?” William asked.
“Lady MacAlasdair. She lives in the castle, and she’s been
there years, but she stays young and beautiful forever.”
In the Scottish Highlands, legend is as powerful as the
sword—and nowhere is that more true than in the remote village of Loch Aranoch.
Its mysterious ruler, Judith MacAlasdair, is fiercely protective of her
land—and her secrets. If anyone were to find out what she really was, she and
her entire clan would be hunted down as monsters.
William Arundell is on the trail of a killer. Special agent
for an arcane branch of the English government, his latest assignment has led
him to a remote Highland castle and the undeniably magnetic lady who rules
there. Yet as lies begin to unravel and a dark threat gathers, William finds
himself drawn deeper and deeper into the mystery of the Highlands…and the woman
he can neither trust nor deny.
He prays she isn’t the murderer; he never dreamed she was a
dragon.
During the day, Isabel Cooper maintains her guise as a
mild-mannered project manager in legal publishing. In her spare time, she
enjoys video games, ballroom dancing, various geeky hobbies, and figuring out
what wine goes best with leftover egg rolls. Cooper lives with two thriving
houseplants in Boston, Massachusetts.
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